My Pain
by Chante-chan
Summary: Left carrying the only loyal member of her group that's still alive in her arms, Kagome flees to her time. She did what she had to do. Now she must find a way to remain under the radar , while also figuring out how to control her new, more deadly powers.
1. Chapter 1

I no own Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho.

:;:

Kagome ran. She ran with all her worth and she panted and forced the air back into her chest. She cradled her son, Shippo to her chest as she continued to run. The forest flew past her in blurred greens, so dark and foreboding that they almost looked to be black. She didn't have the time to wonder at the seemingly fitting scenery though, as she ran through the forest even as the branches and thorns and rocks tore at her skin. Kagome leaped into the air, pushing herself, even with the wounds still oozing her blood.

_They are gone_, she thought to herself. _They are all gone, All of them. Sango, Kirara, Miroku, they are gone because of Naraku. And now that he is gone, Inuyasha, he betrayed me... Betrayed my friends. But then, he was only ever in it for the jewel_. She couldn't stop the angry tears from streaming down her face, but still she didn't break stride.

Kagome hoisted herself over the lip of the well, waiting to hit the gentle blue energy. She could go home, seal the well, and never have to see the place so laced with pain and suffering that was her past. But before she could make it to the other side of the well, Inuyasha grabbed her arm, following her down, shattering her hopes at a simple ending. And as his ruby eyes bore into her, a sense of foreboding settled ever further within her stomach.

Once Kagome and Inuyasha reached the other side of the well, he waited for her to extract herself from its dark depths, before he gave chase to her again, a slow smile spreading over his face. And while he chased her out of the well house, she left Shippo there, hoping that he would be safe from Inuyasha's grasp. She could only hope...

Kagome ran into the coldness that always came with the December day, especially cold with the feelings of darkness that punctured her very soul. She allowed her eyes to soften, forcing the warmth of love and understanding back into them. Inuyasha, the one who had ripped her heart out of her chest time and time again, only to force it back with a blush or a cleverly placed comment or complement, leveled her with a snarl, his face twisted in rage. She had to end him, or allow herself to be ended. And she couldn't let herself end if only for her son.

So Kagome held her arms to her sides, white hot purification energy erupting in torrents from her palms. Suddenly her mind was no longer her own, her body acted of its own accord. And Kagome was scared. She was scared for the simple fact that she wasn't in control of neither her mind nor her body and that she could not find the will to stop herself. She watched helplessly as a sword of holy energy sprouted from her left hand, a twin of it in her right hand. Kagome's breath hitched as she charged forward, one sword slicing its way through Inuyasha's left arm. That left him at a severe disadvantage, and so he made to retreat. But Kagome, or whatever had possessed her decided that he no longer deserved to live, and his head was severed from his body, before being purified with the rest of him.

Kagome nearly collapsed, spiritually spent, but she remembered Shippo and forced her body upright. She limped toward the well house, finally reaching the structure that had come to mean so much pain. She reached into the well house, grabbing his small body and settling him on the porch, while she dragged her still bleeding body into her backyard. She then allowed herself to collapse, hitting the ground heavily, and ragged sobs stealing her breath and causing her body to shake. She let the grief that had started to curl their icy fingers around her soul when Sango, her friend turned sister, Miroku, her brother in law, and Kirara, her companion had been slaughtered. She let the quiet sobs wrench themselves from her body, she allowed herself to address the wounds that were still so fresh, so raw and undimmed, much like the ones that still seeped blood all over her body. After the tears no longer flowed, she stood, much calmer than she had been in a good long while.

Her body was numb, but not just from the cold, as much as she wished that were the case. She felt numb from all the pain. But she couldn't dwell on such things, for her kit was still bleeding and she needed to dress his wounds, which were a series of four long nasty claw marks, similar to the ones that currently marred her own once-alabaster skin.

Dragging herself inside, she found herself happy that her mother wasn't home. She dragged herself up the stairs carefully, setting her son in the tub and washing him, mindful of his slowly healing wounds. After cleansing him of the dirt and debris from his frightening flight through the forest, she tenderly dressed his wounds, hoping that they wouldn't leave scars, and if so, that at the very least they wouldn't be too noticeable. She set his small form, covered haphazardly in an old sheet, on her bed, before forcing herself back to the bathroom.

After peeling off her clothing, Kagome winced. Inuyasha had done far more damage than she had initially thought. She stuffed a washcloth into her mouth, determined not to wake her sleeping son. She carefully sewed her flesh back into place, making the stitches just as Sango had shown her, so that her scars wouldn't be noticeable. For an hour or so, she grit her teeth over the washcloth, willing herself to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Pulling the bandages tight over the red and puffy stitching, she hobbled into her room, collapsing exhaustedly onto her bed.

Kagome woke with a start, and was quite displeased when a lightning bolt of pain raced down her body, making her draw in a painful breath. She could feel the blood coating her body where Inuyasha had struck her, leaving her feeling disgusted, the wet, sticky sensation dazing her. But she couldn't dwell on such things. Today was the start of school, and she couldn't afford to be late. She had to retake the year because of her absences. It couldn't be helped.

So Kagome rolled herself out of bed, and continued back to the bathroom. Peeling the sticky, and now rusty colored gauze from her body, she winced when the gauze stuck to the edges of her wounds, bringing the shine of tears not shed to her eyes. But she wouldn't let them fall. She hobbled to her dresser, and pulled out a copy of the boy's uniform for her to wear. She couldn't prance about in the female uniform, because of the scars that she now wore. The people at school would something horrendous of her mother, brother, or some other figure, and she couldn't allow that. She held the uniform in her hands as she went and took a brief shower, and now that she could smell it, the smell of her own blood made her dizzy.

But she disregarded that in favor of scrubbing the blood from her body. She bathed herself, wary of the still tender wounds covering her body, but it was particularly bad on her right side. Her energies were taking their sweet time healing her wounds, apparently. She dried her body, put on fresh underwear and bra, and then she turned her attention to her wounds again, starting the task of dressing them. She sprayed more ointment into her wounds, and re wrapped the burning flesh before dressing and tying her hair into a ponytail, and was shocked when her hair was brushing against her lower back.

_Well, I'll be. Guess I should brush out my hair more often._ She thought, heading out the door to head for school. She walked calmly, her briefcase slung lazily over her shoulder. She smiled at the thought of a normal school year, with no more demons chasing her about for a stupid jewel, no more disasters caused by some unlucky juju. But her smile was short lived as a group of thugs started trailing her. Her pace quickened. She made a turn to try to shake them off, but she was trapped in an ally way, with the thugs or a high fence as her obstacle to getting to school. Either way she would rip open her wounds, ruining her chances of a small scar.

_But_, She reasoned, _Might as well enjoy the pain that I'm sure I'm gonna go through..._

So she turned her body, her posture tense as she turned to face about eight tough looking thugs. She started when she felt the small amount of youkai that each possessed.

_Demons! Seriously, of all the things I run into…_

"Can I help you boys?" She asked in her calmest voice, trying to diffuse the situation.

She couldn't help but be worried at the malicious grins that grew upon each of their faces. They closed in on her, and she dropped into a defensive stance, preparing to attack at the first sign that they were prepared to harm her.

"I don't want any trouble..." She started, before she ducked out of the way of two of the thugs. She continued to evade them, trying to simply escape the ally way, not wishing to open her still fresh wounds.

One of the thugs whispered about 'One slippery ass bitch' and she felt the beginnings of anger to settle in the pit of her stomach. She ducked out of the way again, but then threw a punch laced with purification energy, and almost smiled at the scream of agony that passed his lips. A second or two later, the thug fell to the ground, already dead as his body slowly purified into ash.

"Last chance. Back off." Kagome spoke, a warning in her voice. As she spoke her hands were covered in a brilliant blue, the color of her eyes in this calmness.

A couple of the lackeys took a step back, but the rest held their ground. Kagome sighed and let a burst of purification energy to bust from her and all of them were dead, purified to ashes. Kagome made to rise to standing again, but her wound reopened, causing a gasp of pain to erupt from her, her frantic hands trying to keep the blood off of her jacket. She took off in the direction of her school, her teeth set against the pain.

As she reached the school, she forced herself to open her bandages, and found that she had already bled through, so she pulled the bandages from her tender gashes and forced her energy to act as a second skin, holding in the blood as she re wrapped her still seeping wounds. She allowed her body to relax and she pulled her shirt back down, before walking onto the school grounds. Her hands still held the used bandages.

All eyes were on her as she walked past the gate of the school. She smiled at the people around her, until she almost ran into one that had placed themselves in her path. The click of people sneered at her, and she allowed one of her most deceptively sweet smiles to surface on her face, taking the group off guard. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, trying to be patient.

"Excuse me, but I would very much like to get to my classes and to discard of my bandages, so please move." Kagome forced the words from her mouth even as she smiled harder.

She wasn't surprised when they didn't move. Instead of moving, they circled her, along with a crowd of students wishing to see a good fight. She smiled harder still, trying to remain calm, and not freak out.

"So I suppose you aren't going to move, huh? So allow me the pleasure of guessing what it is that you want to pester me with today. Perhaps I am 'stepping on your turf'? Or maybe the problem is that I am so lame that I am not allowed to set foot on the place where you are supposed to learn and instead spend your time skipping class and making out?" Kagome said with a small smile, her hair falling in front of her eyes as she started to chuckle silently to herself.

"No it's not that! You are that sickly girl from last year, and we don't want you infesting our school with your diseases! I mean how disgusting! You'll cause an epidemic." A girl to the left of her spoke.

Kagome smiled. "Bravo, I haven't heard that one yet."

"But" She continued, "I have class to get to. And I am still holding these bandages. Don't want to cause the next wave of zombies or anything here." Kagome said before making to walk past the group of petty idiots.

A beefy guy stepped in her way, blocking her way out. Kagome sighed, and moved to sidestep the guy, only to be blocked by another. Another sigh escaped her lips, as she worried her bottom lip. She really just wanted to get her butt to class.

"Well, I guess I have to make a reputation for myself already" Kagome dropped into a defensive stance, her eyes racing from one face to another. She ignored the pinch in her side.

A big guy charged at her, but she did a back flip out of the way. Then another grabbed her wrist. She twisted her arm around until she held his hand in hers, using his momentum against him, pushing him into another two people. Kagome jumped from place to place, trying to avoid favoring her right side, where her wounds were worst. She did a split to avoid being kicked in the jaw, punching the guy in his balls. She stood again and she could feel the stitches pulling and straining, stretching her skin. She fell to her knees, holding her side as she rolled away from a shin that came close to breaking quite a few of her ribs. She pulled off her over shirt, to avoid staining the poor thing more than it had been already. The students gasped at the scars that trailed down her back, over her shoulders, extending all the way up to her collar bones and disappearing under her pants and her bandages, which were starting to redden. She felt their eyes rove over the thread thin scars that marred her flesh, and she had to steel herself from covering them from everyone's stares. She sighed ad pulled herself up again, preparing to fight again, her fists up. Yet everyone stood stalk still, a heavy foreboding hanging in the air.

"What's wrong? You had no trouble deterring me when I was the 'sickly girl'. What's the big difference for me when you see my scars?" Kagome hollered, her voice traveling across the school yard.

But none would answer. Her face burned when she felt everyone's eyes on her, boring into every scar on her body. She picked up her jacket and stalked to the school. Their eyes followed her all the way to the door. She shook her head, running a hand through her hair, ignoring the pain in her side. Now she had to go change her bandages again. Great.

By the time she had reached home room, talk was all over the school about the mysterious girl who fought one of the biggest gangs alone while wounded. People now avoided her, as if they didn't before, and she was forced to sit alone, everyone refusing to sit within a seat of her. Suddenly there was a loud ruckus in the hall way, and a group of people emerged from the hall, apparently late for school. The first of which was a young girl with short brown hair, Keiko, and she sat right next to Kagome, smiling softly at her as she sat down her stuff. Along with her, she brought a tall lanky fellow, Kuwabara, who gave her a cheesy grin before sitting on her other side. A boy with slicked back hair, Yusuke, sat next to Kuwabara after punching him in the back of the head. And, finally, a handsome fellow with scarlet hair, Kurama, sat behind her, his easy smile and intelligent disposition making Kagome smile back. Everyone in the class started telling stories about her fight earlier with the gang.

One boy even went so far as to ask them if they were sure about their seats.

"Y' all sure you wanna sit there? I mean she is a cannon! She beat up the entire Yokuzo gang... And she was wounded! God you should see her scars though. You'd think she had been in a war with all of the scars on 'er!" And then he busted into a fit of nervous laughter when Kagome leveled a harsh glare in his direction. She rolled her eyes, and shook her head.

She clicked her tongue and shook her head, before turning her attention to the newcomers.

"That's not what happened at all! First off I just wanted to get into the school. When they refused to move and didn't allow me past them because I was the 'Sickly Girl' last year. So yea I was wounded when I showed up, but that doesn't mean anything. They are perfectly fine with attacking me when I'm sickly, but when they see my scars they refused to fight. It was the stupidest thing I've ever had the displeasure of being part of." Kagome huffed an angry sigh, and then focused on her classes. First was history, oh the joy.

"And so the first thing we will be going over is mythology for the era about 500 years ago. Would anyone happen to know what that time period was called?" the teacher droned on, and Kagome perked up.

Kagome raised her hand, but so did Kurama. She shot him a dirty look and raised her hand higher. The teacher sighed and looked at the newest delinquent raising her hand. He decided he might as well get a good laugh out of her before giving the question to Kurama. So he picked Kagome with an uncaring wave of his hand. Kagome smiled at him.

"Ahem... Well sir, the era about 500 years ago is referred to as the Sengoku Jidai, and if I may be so bold to ask, what myths are we to be learning?" Kagome said in a loud voice.

The teacher frowned and sighed, figuring that there was no comedy coming from the new girl. She looked as if she might have been an easy target, with all the talk going around the school. But no: Miss. "Let's-get-into-a-fight" apparently had a brain between her ears.

"Yes that is correct. We will be learning about the stories of a man turned half demon that caused a lot of suffering in the Sengoku Jidai." The teacher started to read aloud from a mythology book about the epic tale that Kagome had lived through.

Kagome raised her hand. The teacher called on her. "Yes Miss Higurashi?"

"Would it be all right if I retold the story? I believe that you are starting at the wrong place, sir. Don't you hate it when history books don't do all of their research?" Kagome asked calmly, and then smiled at her teacher's confused expression.

She stood and walked to the front of class. Kagome stole away the text book that he held in his hand, and set it back on the bookshelf.

"That book, I am afraid, is wrong. Let's start at the right beginning, shall we? Okay, so 600 years ago, a powerful priestess by the name of Midoriko roamed the lands of Japan, eradicating malicious demons every where she went. She was apparently kind hearted and loved by the people she protected. Until a great battle… _The_ great battle, against three demons that held a great evil in their hearts took place, in a place that would serve as Midoriko's grave. She fought for several days and nights, until she was wounded terribly and had no chance of ever winning. So in a last ditch effort to stop these evil youkai, Midoriko forced her soul- and the souls of the three youkai- out of their bodies, forcing their souls to wage war in an evil jewel, a jewel called the Shikon, or the jewel of four souls.

This jewel passed through many evil hands, human, half breed, and full demon, until a few years later, where a village of demon slayers had lived for generations came to possess the jewel. But the jewel was also passed on, to a miko named Kikyo, who became the protector of the Shikon jewel.

However, the hands of fate are cruel. She found a bandit named Onigumo. Her sense of duty demanded that she do the right thing when she realized that he was horribly burned and would live the rest of his life bound to the cave. Kikyo also had a love interest, named Inuyasha, a half breed who had intended to steal the jewel away to become full demon.

Onigumo became enraged when he learned of Kikyo's love of the half demon, for he loved her too. He was desperate, and his human mind gave way to madness. He beckoned mass of demons to his body, offering them his body in sacrifice to become what was known as Naraku, a being who was neither Demon, human, nor half breed.

After he reveled in his physical form, he set a plan in motion. This plan ended in Kikyo's death and Inuyasha's imprisonment to a tree for fifty years, although the jewel was burned with Kikyo on the funeral pyre, meaning that she had at least that final justice.

During the fifty years of Inuyasha's sleep, Naraku had crossed many people, cursing a Monk and his family to have a void in his right hand, eradicated the same Demon slayer village that had once held the jewel, terrorized the entirety of Japan and led up to a quest involving the monk, the only demon slayer left of her village, a demon fox kit orphaned by Thunder and Lightning demons, Inuyasha the half breed, a fire cat, and a time traveling woman from around our time period. This is how the story goes, told as memorized from the scrolls in the shrine that serves as my home." Kagome finished telling this tale right before the class ended, ending her story in a small lie. She had not memorized the story. She had lived it.

She walked out of the room, not looking back at anyone, feeling light as air and happier than she had felt in a long time. The rest of the school day continued like that, Kagome lost in the bliss of a lightened heart. After the final bell, Kagome walked happily to the athletic area of the school grounds, going to attend a meet of the school archery club. It was because of them that Kagome had improved her skill enough to shoot the final arrow, and end Naraku. A small smile crossed her lips at the sight of Keiko, who was dressed in the school archery uniform: an ironic rendition of priestess garbs.

Kagome took a few moments to change into the uniform in the changing section of the Archery area. Kagome took three quivers of arrows and grabbed a bow made of petrified wood, the grand prize at last year's National competition. She got the bow as thanks, for she had shot nothing but bulls' eyes.

Kagome picked up an arrow from the quiver, holding it up to the light from the sun. She ran her fingers along the smooth wood, a flash of pain crossing her eyes. Sango's kind eyes and guiding hands as she tried to instruct the ever clumsy Kagome in how to hold a bow caused her to bow her head. After a moment to collect herself and clear the memory from her mind, Kagome looked back toward her target and strung her bow.

_Don't choke the bow! Hold it with love_.

_Be calm. Easy breath. Clear your mind._

_And let go._

The bow sung a song of pain and misery, of war and death. Of betrayal from the one who you thought you could trust most.

_Thwack_

The arrow hit the target in the center of the bull's eye. Kagome continued to fire the powerless arrows one after another, and couldn't help but smile at the resounding crack that came with hitting the target. It dulled the pain that had spread through her being. She allowed herself to stop thinking about anything but getting as close to the center of the bull's eye as she could. She forced herself to feel nothing but the texture of her bow, of the lightness of the arrow, of the soft feathers and the slight burning sensation in her arms from the pulling back of the taunt string.

The world fell from around her and all that existed was the bow, the arrows, and the target before her.

Little did she know, she was being watched.

;:;

Okies, So I hauled arse and fixed this atrocity that I called a chapter. I hope everyone involved thinks it is better, now that I have looked at it. Amazing how when you write something you think it is the best thing since sliced bread and brownies, and you look back at a few years later and it is the most disgusting thing you have ever laid eyes on.

Updates will be soon.


	2. Chapter 2

As arrow after arrow flew at the target, Kagome sighed in a happy way, stress relieved in such a way as to cause her to forget her wounds, as to forget her scars. To forget the one who betrayed her…

She could only thank Sango, Miroku, and even little Kirara for training her. Inuyasha had growled angrily and demanded that she stop what she was doing, of course. But she had been tired… tired of being only dead weight, tired of trying to help and only getting hurt or getting in the way. She wanted to save her self. She wanted them to be proud of her, to not have to worry that she would get herself killed. That was what she wanted. She no longer had even a whisper of hope to have it happen though. They were gone. But she would continue on, hoping that they would look after her from the heavens.

Emptying her last quiver of arrows, Kagome smiled, sighed happily, and went to change back to her school uniform. She pulled off the archery uniform slowly, taking the time to reflect on how she had been feeling. She slowly exited the school, strolling home.

"Hey, Kagome!" Keiko called, her short brown hair swishing behind her happily.

"Yo, Keiko. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing really… But, uh, do you want to grab a bite with me and my friends at WackDonalds? You seem kind of lonely."

"Um… well, yeah, I guess, but you kind of have to wait for a little while, I have to go and get my son. He'll want to go too" Kagome said, rubbing the back of her head, laughing softly.

The look of shock on Keiko's face startled Kagome, and she realized that Keiko didn't know about her son.

"He's adopted, before you get any misconceptions going on. He was orphaned when he was young so, when I met him and took him in as my own. He's got really cute red hair, and is the smartest child I have ever met. I love him more than anything." Kagome said softly, blushing madly at herself. She couldn't blame Keiko for her error. She was gone for quite a long time.

With that, Kagome parted from Keiko, running home despite the slight sting of her wounds. She had finally regained enough energy to slowly heal the wounds, yet she would save most of what little bit she had regained to heal Shippo. But that could wait until he regained a bit of energy himself. She quickly dressed Shippo in some of her brothers' old clothes, after giving him a charm that Kaede had made her so that she could hide Shippo's demon features. She gave her mother a kiss good bye, and headed for the WacDonalds up the street. But she was unprepared for the sight that met her, and she smiled softly at the familiarity of the entire thing.

The boy with orange hair, Kuwabara, was currently was fussing with Yusuke and Kurama was trying to end the bickering. Hiding the giggle behind her hand, Kagome sat next to Keiko, with Shippo on her lap. Everyone's eyes were suddenly on her, piercing her very soul.

"Uh… Hello." Kagome said, trying not to squirm. She noticed that a small guy was leaning casually leaning against the booth. Instantly, Kagome noted the demonic aura surrounding the table she sat in. Her powers sparked around her hand, zapping her. She stood quickly, setting Shippo down hurriedly, then ran to the bathroom. She held her hand, trying to both get it to behave and pinpoint what the problem was. She was around demons all the time. What was wrong with her?

After cursing her powers and a few calming breaths, she returned. Shippo looked at her worriedly, before he stood and hugged her tightly.

"Kagome… What's the matter? I haven't seen you look so scared since Inuyasha-"

"I'm fine, Shippo. Really. My side just really hurts. That's all."

"But mom, I've seen you with worse wounds and you never acted like that. Did your powers zap you?"

Kagome stiffened, looking around the booth. All eyes were on her. She licked her lips, resisting the urge to walk away, chalk up this one as a loss and go back to her every day regular life.

"Kagome? What powers?" Keiko asked, ignorant of Yusuke's harsh stare. Kagome looked down at her lap, worrying her lip.

"It's a long story. Trust me, you won't believe me anyway."

"Oh, I beg to differ. We'll listen to you, Kagome," came Kurama's voice, followed by a nod from everyone, save the ever stoic one leaning against the booth. With a sigh, Kagome consented, looking towards the front desk.

"Fine, I suppose. But I have to show you for you to understand. It seems that to most my word isn't very believable." Kagome stood, turning towards the door, heading to her home. Kuwabara grabbed the food, eating a fist full of fries before following the rest of the group. She led them up the shrine steps, noticing the slightly wary looks of the short one and Kurama.

She walked inside, grabbing the set of miko garbs she kept around just in case she had to pull a shift with her grandfather, so that they could make some rainy day money.

Walking back outside with her bow and arrow in hand, Kagome set up the practice dummy, and took a few steps back. She waved everyone back a few steps, pushing Shippo even further away, making sure he didn't get hurt.

Standing before the dummy, Kagome strung her bow, taking a few deep breaths.

_You'll never be anything compared to Kikyo. You're just a copy._

Her fingers sparked with energy.

_Feh. I don't want you training, wench. You're just wasting everyone's time._

Her eyes changed color.

_I don't want you around anymore. You were just a shard detector. All I ever wanted was to become a demon. You don't matter. None of you did. Now that your use has run out, it's time for you to die. _

She let the arrow go. It crackled with the blue energy surrounding it. It struck the dummy in slow motion, the energy causing blue flames to permeate the cloth and fabric before it fell to the ground, nothing more than ashes.

"I am a miko"

And the stunned silence went on and on. Shippo throwing off the charm proudly and climbing onto Kagome's shoulder, instantly regained his fox characteristics.

"And I am a fox demon!" He squealed, grinning ear to ear.

Yusuke looked closely at her, rubbing the back of his head.

"Keiko, I'll be back. Koenma will wanna hear this." He said, stepping away from them, flipping open his communicator.

Kagome noted that the short one was gone.


End file.
